My Coming-of-Age UU Chalice Lighting — One year of Retirement

Good Morning,
I'm Kevin Pammett.

It is my honor and privilege to be here Lighting the Chalice (audio) this morning — to share with you my perspective on “It Takes a Village”, and my excitement about how well this community is doing exactly that.

Following Donna's lead from last week, I'm sure it's no surprise that my word for 2020 is Retirement

As many of you know, it started last year for me, and imagine — this Valentine's Day pretty much marked the end of my first year of retirement. And I'm here to tell you it's been a terrific journey!

It is pretty amazing when all of a sudden all of the rules seem to change. Without a 9-5 job, I no longer have many constraints I used to have. I can pretty much do whatever I want. I get to re-establish my daily routines, and spend more time doing things I really enjoy.

One of the things that I've really been enjoying in our Church this year is seeing the youth in the Coming-of-Age program — each standing up and doing their own Chalice Lightings. I find it very inspirational, though I admit that many of them seem like a pretty hard act to follow.

But I have been really identifying with it because, not unlike these brave youth, my Rite of Passage into retirement also has me questioning things like the following, which I also invite you to think about regarding where you are in your life, now:

• How do I fit in, Now? 
• What am I going to spend my time on, Now? 
• What do I really care about, Now? 
• What do I really stand for, Now? 
• Who do I want to spend my time with, Now? 
• Should I be looking for a different mentor, Now? 

As I look out on everyone here, it's clear to me that you don't have to be Coming of Age or going into Retirement in order to be facing these sorts of questions - or even situations far more serious. We are all on that path we call life and none of us knows what's around the next corner. That's exactly why the opportunity for all of us, here, is to fully bring who we are — and what we are dealing with in our lives — to the many different facets of this community.

• This is the place where we can all express ourselves in such a way that people really get who we are.

• Here we surround ourselves with people who actually want to know who we really are.

And to me, THAT is really the magic and the wisdom of this Welcoming and Nurturing community - it is why we are all really here. It is how we take care of one another, and it is the foundation that enables us to Be a Blessing to the World.

I light the Chalice today on behalf of our multi-generational community of loving and compassionate support for one another — through all of the Rites of Passage, and the large as well as the small Transitions in our lives. 

My Christmas Chalice Lighting, Dec 23rd, 2018

Below is the text I created when I led the Lighting the Chalice ritual at our UUC in Groton, the day before Christmas, 2018. Since it was the Christmas service, I skipped over some of this during the actual presentation in the interest of time.

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It is such an honor to be here this morning — to share with you my perspective and my excitement about this very special and important time of year...

For many of us, it's a time to experience our extended families - we see people we love, and we rekindle fond relationships. Maybe there are folks we're happy to see only once a year — but even that keeps us in touch, and it replenishes our thirst for connections to our past, present and future.

So in many ways, this is The Season of Joy.

Indeed, one of the great joys I have already experienced this year happened because my wife made an off-hand comment about "The Clapper" as we were trying to unravel the mysteries of all the lights on the Christmas Tree.

So I did it — I succumbed — even though I vowed I'd never buy "The Clapper" because I thought it was only for really old people ... Now just imagine the joy when this (clap, clap) makes all of the holiday lights go on, and (clap, clap) makes them go off. Pure Joy!

But as Elea reminded us last week, let us acknowledge that the road thru our yearly Chanukah and Christmas celebrations, albeit paved with the best of intentions, is not necessarily a smooth passage.

It could be fraught with memories of previous seasons where all did NOT go well. Maybe we have lost loved ones who have left us yearning to be with them again. Or maybe this season especially reminds us of regrets too numerous to elaborate. You all know what I'm talking about.

For that reason, many of us set out to "Be on our best behavior" — pretending that everything is OK, even when it isn't... so we avoid "making waves" — a kind of a "hiding out"... Sometimes that "works"... but I would like to suggest an alternative.

Be open to the positive side of everything that happens, whilst still acknowledging the reality of our situations. Fully experience whatever happens and look for the blessings, in gratitude.

In my men's circle we use phrases that articulate "ways of being" — ones that we aspire to hold. Here is one called "Feel the Burn" — I brought this picture to illustrate the point. I know this is too small for most to see; if you're feeling brave, Google "picture, burning man".

Recently I found a much better way to say this... In her cyberspace blog called "DailyOM ", Madisyn Taylor writes in her article called "Honoring All Experiences":

• It is important when pain comes our way to honor the experience, as it is usually a great teacher.
• Honoring the experiences we have in our lives is an invaluable way to communicate with life, our greatest teacher.
• We do this when we take time at night to say what we are thankful for about our day, and also when we write in a journal.
• Both of these acts involve consciously acknowledging the events of our lives so that they deepen our relationship to our experiences.
• This is important because it brings us into closer connection with life, and with the moment.
• Only when we acknowledge what's happening to us can we truly benefit from life's teachings.

So I light the Chalice this morning for each and every one of us — that we fully appreciate who we are, and that we totally bring our present selves into these holidays... as they unfold thru New Years.

The Extended Groton Community Sings — GCCC 2015

 

I was late putting out the sandwich boards for this year's Groton Community Christmas Chorus, but as you see here in my selfie when I did put the first one out, that I'm looking pretty pleased with myself. I guess that's because I love having the opportunity to bring this gift to our community every year.

Click on the image to the right to see the full-sized version of this year's GCCC 2015 board — right in front of the Union Congregational Church on Main St in Groton, Ma, where all 3 concerts are performed each year, starting in 1974 by Edie Tompkins. That makes this year the 41^st Annual GCCC. Wow! What a legacy!

Either the picture above or the GCCC flyer on the left give the details of when the 3 concerts are sung. For fire safety reasons the Church is only allowed to hold a certain number of people at one time so we sing three concerts in mid December to make sure we can accomodate all who want to come and start of their Christmas season with this concert. See the flyer on the left for details.

See you there !

Maybe after we sing the concert I'll use this space to attach some snapshots or video clips.

Click here for a selection of my blog articles about the Groton Community Christmas Chorus as I have sung in it many times over the years.

Honoring our Dad — “Dutch” Pammett — Chalice Lighting 2015

Coincident with a long weekend visit from my sister Nanci and her husband Art Phelan, Nanci and I wrote and delivered the Veterans’ Day tribute you see below as part of what we call the “Chalice Lighting” ceremony at our First Parish Church (Unitarian Universalist) — a Welcoming Church in Groton, Ma.
 

Good Morning, I'm Kevin Pammett –

and I’m Kevin’s sister, Nanci Phelan from Canada.

[kp] It is our privilege to light the chalice this morning in honor of Veterans’ Day and also to honour our father, Harold “Dutch” Percy Pammett who was a veteran in the Canadian Navy during WWII.

[np] For us, Remembrance Day will always have a special meaning because Dad passed away on that day in 1981. He was out golfing on a sunny autumn morning’ having just beaten my mom in a game of gin rummy. I was sitting on the couch with my young children, watching the Remembrance Day service on TV, when I got the phone call. It was a sad shock but over the years we’ve found comfort, healing and a kind of dignity in the coincidence and in the memory.

[kp] For me, it is now more than half of my life ago that Dad died – imagine – a heart attack while he was doing what he loved ! … Among the major life lessons I learned from my Dad – because he died at the young age of 61 – was this: All we really can count on is living every day to the fullest – because “Tomorrow is promised to no one.” In addition, I hold my Father honorably as a real life example of the many hundreds of thousands of men and women who have given their lives and who continue to give everything of themselves – in the service of their country.

[np] Another Remembrance Day memory occurred in 1999 when I was chosen to lay a wreath on the Cenotaph in Ottawa, for the Canadian Federation of University Women. It was a wonderful and exhilarating service on a crisp, sunny morning under a cloudless blue sky. To my right was a sickly old man on an electronic scooter, outfitted with a Canadian Flag. There were throngs of people and vets in a great array of uniforms. We were in front of the Peace Tower and beside the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. The Canadian Snowbirds, who are famous worldwide for their aeronautics, did a fly past salute. It was an honour to be part of such a poignant and venerable celebration. I was deeply moved by the immensity of what war had wrought. Remembrance Day took on a meaning beyond the personal and a poem took shape.

[kp] This year, since Nanci and her husband were visiting us for the long weekend, we had the opportunity to forge another treasured Veterans’ Day memory by going to the Waterfire event in Providence where they held a special tribute to our Veterans of Foreign Wars. What a privilege it was standing around “the basin” with dozens of blazing fires burning over the water, listening to a marching band and several traditional “American” songs as we watched the ring of men and women – each lighting the torch of the Veteran standing next to them – until the whole circle was ablaze with hundreds of torches proudly held high. Indeed, it brought tears to my eyes as I thought about the sacrifices made by these heroes and it really left me feeling “Proud to Be an American”. Veterans’ Day, I’m sure, means very different things to each one of us and so Nanci and I light the chalice this morning in honor of Veterans’ Day or Remembrance Day, and in honor of what each person here holds for it in their hearts individually.

 
  How fortunate I am to live in such a community, and to have had this opportunity to do this with my dear sister.  
 

Family, Meteor Showers, and Community Chorus

Now that the dust has settled after the 40^th Annual Groton Community Christmas Chorus, I can't resist writing one more article about it — for a few reasons… For starters, the picture below is one where you can actually see that I sing as a Baritone (back row) in the choir, because it was taken by a man on my team who came to see the "middle" concert — the one on Sunday night.

As strong as ever, about 100 of us from a dozen or more towns around Groton gave our Annual Christmas Gift to the Community — the usual three concerts at the UCC in Groton. And, as always, all 3 performances were to a packed house and the choirs all sang well. The instrumentalists we all fabulous, and as always The Treble Choir stole the show.

This year I felt more a part of the chorus; I think I just put more time and energy into getting to know the people behind the voices. And I was thrilled with how many new — especially younger and new — singers we had. We had a really simple piece for the GCCC men's number, but it was challenging enough because Edie had us sing it in an unusual configuration. The GCCC Women sang "Simple Gifts" and I did capture a video clip of that but only during the dress rehearsal, not the actual performance. Another thing that was different for me was that I got to be part of a quartet of men who joined the Treble choir while they sang "Little Drummer Boy" and we/the men were challenged (believe it or not!) to be the drums using our voices. Likewise, this isn't good video (because of where my camera was) but you get an excellent sense of what the Bell Choir sounded like from where I was.

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The Saturday night before the concert we had a most-memorable extended-family bonfire cook-out in our yard. Both of my daughters were home, with their precsious men and several other friends, and we and had a fabulous time. Totally coincidentally, it was one of the peak evenings for shooting stars and we saw the "Geminid Meteor Showers" off and on over a period of about 3 hours. How appropriate it was for us to be watching "sharply bright dashes of light" (spirit!) on this particular evening — going into December 14^th — because of the anniversary of a tragic family loss.

For fascinating details about these "Geminid Meteor Showers" you might want to check out this Space.com article and video. Likewise, click here for a selection of my blog articles about singing in the Groton Community Christmas Chorus over the years.

Wow — we were truly blessed on Saturday night, and I am truly blessed to be part of this community!!!

Thanksgiving in Groton; Christmas starts with the GCCC

 

This year in my GCCC article I also want to include the early morning sunrise picture that I took on Thanksgiving morning. Click on the image to the right to see the full-sized version of this year's early Thanksgiving morning snow on the trees in our yard.

The snow started to fall on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so early on Thanksgiving morning it was so beautiful and fluffy on the naked trees in our yard that I couldn't resist taking a number of pictures. Just the simple natural beauty of it put me immediately into a context of gratitude; it was the perfect way to start my Thanksgiving holidays.

And as I know from other years, once we get to Thanksgiving, the Groton Community Christmas Chorus is right around the corner. And this year Thanksgiving was so late in the month, that we're already just 2 weeks away from the three concerts we do in mid December. See flyer on the left for details.

So that's why I went out today and put out the first of the sandwich boards. But it was too dark out to get a picture, so here is what recent GCCC sandwich boards look like.

Keep in mind - 3 concerts: Sunday, December 14th at 2.00 p.m. Sunday, December 14th at 7.30 p.m. Monday, December 15th at 7.30 p.m.

See you there !

Click here for a selection of my blog articles about GCCC - the Groton Community Christmas Chorus.

A Breath of Sunshine on a bleak day in October

Recently when I had a little time to fill in between early-morning choir practice and our usual 10am Sunday morning service, I wandered out into our "UUC Memory Garden" and took the snapshot that you see, here, of "Gaye's Memory Brick". Click here for my blog article about Gaye's brick per se; here I tried more to capture the garden itself within the environment where it rests. You'd never know that this is right in the center of our town, Groton, Ma.

What a peaceful place it is — standing on and reading the 100s of bricks that memorialize loved ones from our congregation, looking out over the magnificent New England Fall, as you see it here, and listening to hear Gaye's voice in the wind, as I've written about before. This voice is not a lamentation; it's about everlasting joy — the joie de vivre that characterized the life she lived, albeit way too short.

Alas, I doubt that this view looks like that now because we've recently had three days of rain so I suspect most of the leaves have now fallen. But that's OK; it's perfectly appropriate. I actually like this view in every season, even on frigid cold days in Winter, or like today, a pretty bleak end-of-October day.

So where's that "Breath of Sunshine" ? It's easy — just listen to the soundtrack from "The Sound of Music" and imagine living your life like that. Every day's an adventure. Every day the glass is always half full. It was Gaye's lifetime context of "Climb Every Mountain" — with all of the UPs and DOWNs that entails — that taught me about why that's so important. It's all about embracing life as it is. Fully appreciating today, not waiting for something that might come… because this moment — right now — is all that any of us really has. It's about being truly happy with what is within your reach.

Climb every mountain… — from "The Sound of Music" soundtrack Climb every mountain, Search high and low, Follow every byway, Every path you know. Climb every mountain, Ford every stream, Follow every rainbow, 'Till you find your dream. A dream that will need All the love you can give, Every day of your life For as long as you live. Climb every mountain, Ford every stream, Follow every rainbow, Till you find your dream A dream that will need All the love you can give, Every day of your life, For as long as you live. Climb every mountain, Ford every stream, Follow every rainbow, Till you find your dream.

Thank you, and I miss you, dear sweet sister Gaye. Thank you for the life you lived, and for what you continue to give to me by still being present in my life every day.